The cancer came back.
That’s what my mother learned when she went for her annual mammogram. The cancer she had been battling since 2018 had returned to her breast and lymph nodes.
Tired from the pain and the side effects of her treatment, Mom bravely decided not to fight it this time. She was 81 years old. It was time to enjoy the days she had left.
The Bucket List
When Mom shared her decision with her oncologist, we asked him how much time she had. He responded, “About a year. This is not a terminal event.”
I exhaled, relieved. We would have another Mother’s Day, another birthday. Probably even Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mom could make a bucket list, and we could have fun checking off the items.
But time is never guaranteed.
Mom did get one bucket list item checked off, though: a steak dinner from Outback Steakhouse (thank you to my sister for taking her!).
That oncologist appointment was on March 15, 2022. By April 12—a mere four weeks later—Mom was gone.
Time
Her passing reminded me of an undeniable truth: You never know when your time will come.
We assume we have time. We make plans for ‘later.’ But later isn’t promised. You could have fifty years left. You could have fifty minutes.
A few nights after she passed, Mom appeared in my dream. We were at an event, and when it ended, I turned to her and said, “It’s time to go.”
She looked at me, her voice steady. “I didn’t want to leave.”
I woke up with her words seared into my heart. She thought she had more time. She had more she wanted to do. But her time ran out.
And that’s why I’m sharing this with you.
The Biggest Regrets Are the Things You Don’t Do
I don’t want you to have regrets when your time comes. I want you to look back on a life well-lived—the risks you took, the boundaries you established, the love you gave, the dreams you chased.
I tell my kids: The biggest regrets in life are the things you don’t do.
So, I have an assignment for you. Grab a journal and at the top of the page, write: “If I don’t do these things, I will regret it on my deathbed.”
Then make the list. No overthinking. No filtering. Just listen to your heart and write down what comes, no matter how big, small, or outrageous it seems.
I’ll do the same. And this time, I’ll make sure to keep my list close.
A Reflection on Three Years Without My Mother
As I reflect on the three-year anniversary of my mom’s passing, I realize that I, too, have forgotten some of my dreams. At the time of her death, I wrote down the things I wanted to do, and I have accomplished some—like moving near the mountains and hosting an in-person event for Virtual Networkers. But others have slipped away, buried under the weight of daily life and distractions.
Recently, I pulled a card from Meggan Watterson’s The Divine Feminine Oracle Deck, and it was Kali, the Hindu goddess, the Mother of the Universe. The mantra on the card stopped me in my tracks: I release all that doesn’t serve me. It’s time to be the truth of who I am.
Meggan explains that pulling this card means The Universe is tired of me messing around—it’s time to do my thing. Unapologetically. Without worrying about what others think. Kali appeared because there’s a sense of urgency, and I am not ignoring this message.
The Only Right Time is Now
That’s my new commitment. To release the noise, the doubts, the distractions. To refocus on what truly matters. To remember the dreams I once claimed as mine and breathe life into them again.
I hope you’ll join me in this exercise. Because time is precious, and the only right time is now.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for honoring my mom. Thank you for being in my community. I cherish you.