We hear it all the time: “Women need more seats at the table.” It’s a rallying cry for inclusion, a demand for space in industries, politics, and business. And on the surface, it sounds like progress.
But here’s the problem: The table was never built for us in the first place. And when they do let us in, they only offer a few chairs—just enough to make it look like things are changing.
But those seats? They are never ours to decide. At any moment, they can yank them away. And they do—just look at how President Donald Trump has eradicated DEI in the federal government and is forcing corporations to do the same.
Now, instead of working together, we’re forced to compete for those limited seats. The system keeps us scrambling while they stay in power.
Fuck that.
You don’t have to fight for a seat at a table that wasn’t designed with you in mind. You don’t have to settle for scraps of inclusion, playing by rules that were never meant to serve you. Instead, you can build your own table.
That’s exactly what I did in 2018 when I created Virtual Networkers. At the time, traditional networking groups refused to embrace virtual networking. They insisted on in-person meetings, strict attendance policies, and outdated rules that didn’t serve introverts, caregivers, or women who needed flexibility. I could have waited—hoping they would eventually see the value in virtual networking—but I didn’t. Instead, I built my own table, and I invited other women to sit with me.
And here’s the thing about this table: There’s always room for more. There’s no scarcity, no competition, no hierarchy—just connection, collaboration, and sisterhood.
Build Your Own Table
So, what about you? Are you still fighting for a spot at someone else’s table? Or are you ready to build your own? If it’s the latter, here’s how to start:
1. Identify the Problem
Look at the tables you’ve been trying to squeeze into. Are they serving you? Are they structured in a way that allows you to thrive? If the answer is no, it’s time to consider an alternative.
2. Create What You Wish Existed
If you’re feeling excluded, others are too. Build the space you wish existed—the one where people like you don’t have to justify their presence.
3. Lead with Abundance
Scarcity fuels competition. Abundance fuels collaboration. The more you build with generosity and openness, the more people will be drawn to your table.
4. Invite Others to Join You
A table isn’t a table without people sitting at it. Whether you’re creating a new business, a networking space, or a movement, extend the invitation. There are women out there waiting for a space like yours.
You don’t need permission. You don’t need to play by their rules. You are fully capable of building something extraordinary.
Are you with me?